anticipation of installation

daily melody: Lil' Wayne & Nicki Minaj "I Get Crazy"

[this song dedicated to my roommate, Mandi who made me listen to rap so often that I have grown to appreciate it and enjoy to jam out to]

The anticipation for my show is growing each night I'm down in Coleman basement working in my little corner of the piss-poor excuse they call an art studio. Every other day I hear about complaints of the scent of spray paint in the hall, the rooms above, and throughout the building...what else do you expect? this is a senior thesis project for an arts college.

I'm going to mail out some of my postcards tomorrow [below] and start making groups for places around Syracuse and Cazenovia, New York in attempt to bring as much awareness and publicity to my work [no matter the size] to anyone and everyone.

This has been by far the most involved project I have ever created and executed in my life, and during the entirety of my art school career. I feel very strongly for this installation and am putting all of my faith into the presentation and installation of this piece.

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sleepless in central new york

daily melody: As Tall As Lions "Ghost of New York"

It is currently 12:20am in Central New York State and I am currently residing from the basement of a campus building at my school [which is also used as an art classroom, one of which I have] with [thankfully!] two lovely ladies who had a similar drive to just create art into the wee hours of the night. All while refusing to be kicked out be campus security.

I'm getting very tired after an exhausting night last night in another campus building, the newly named Reisman Hall [large sum donation=name on building] in the more tech-savvy Art & Design building until 4am refining my portfolio and assortments. Needless to say, I was a very wiped girl waking up at 8am to try and print my portfolio [again].

It was two unsuccessful attempts.

And too much wasted good gloss printer paper too.

Why is it the body can just keep on going sometimes? I was pondering that very question today when I was thinking about how much harmful things we consume and put ourselves around with on a daily basis. Why is it so difficult to conceptualize an environment filled with beneficial and effective thing?

I am successfully armed with 14+ cans of spray paint [very happy moment in my life!] with the fabulous Montana spray paint, a jolly red shopping basket full of acrylic paints, three brightly painted found television sets, in a content corner of a room I can proudly call my own.

I wish I could post photos this very moment.

I'm taking them with my phone for some kind of documentation, and can hopefully get them off somehow...

....really need a digital camera....

by the way, i'm now blonde!

daily melody: Daedelus "Fair Weather Friends"

Jam-packed week as usual, though one of the most productive, and best I have had in awhile, and this also includes my spring breaks. I am proud to say that I attended all my classes this week, which is a bigger step then it should be for most, but it is a successful for one for me none the less. Trying to get through your last semester for your BFA with depression and financial issues has been rougher on me than I expected. Thankfully, I have three very caring and wonderful professors who catch up with me and have been such a big help for me with all the potholes that have along the road this year.

On a good note, I finally made the decision and took the step.....and bleached my hair blonde!

going from this:
to this:

I honestly don't know if I've gotten more attention on the minuscule campus I reside on, but it certainly is a refreshing and radical change for me. Even looking back on older photographs of my naturally dark brown hair, it looks sort of peculiar on me.

This was a result of a couple of bleaching, so I've been moisturizing and giving my hair some time before I do another go so I can ultimately go platinum. I'm hoping it will compliment my pale complexion, since I refuse to fake bake [tanning]. It was a much needed change in my life, also with a haircut both done be myself. I plan on going back to a professional hair dresser in the future to even out my hair and work their lovely magic, but for the mean time I bask in the liberating feeling I get when I cut and do my hair myself. I'm sure being an art student gives some creative leeway as well.

I would love to dye my hair purple again, and other funky colors, but I'm restricted with my employment at the moment. This was taken in 2008 in Canterbury, England when I studied abroad for a fall semester. At that time I decided to dye my hair purple, which was fantastic [though it sadly did not last long] and had my septum pierced [which is presently closed up].

Hopefully this weekend I'll get to some more bleaching after some serious spray painting for my installation piece with my brand new Montana sprays! Even though I dropped two weeks pitiful paychecks on them, their colors are worth it!!

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Neat tattoo shop link*

artwork over spring break

daily melody: Madonna "Hung Up"

While I was on spring break [last week] from college, I went through quite a bit of drawings and illustrations, though the majority of them have been left unfinished for the moment. I was away from my trusty scanner at school, and shamefully have yet to purchase a new digital camera. I've come to the sad conclusion that it is too expensive and not worth the gamble having my camera repaired. Arrrrrgh.

Here is some scanned new artwork.
I will need to have these shot better so I can possibly add them to my portfolio.

Illustration #1

Illustration #2

Illustration #3

Illustration #4

Illustration #5

Illustration #6

Illustration #7

Illustration #8

Illustration #9

Illustration #10

I am in a small upcoming show with my good friend Kari at The Delevan Art Gallery in Syracuse and plan on keeping it two-dimensional [drawings] and thought it would be a good idea to present my illustrations, since my student show will be an installation. I was thinking either the tenth drawing posted above or the ninth.

Any opinions? I am open to every and all!

small joys latenite

daily melody: White Stripes "You Don't Know What Love Is"

Today was a good day, and I am very pleased with myself on the inside to be able to say that and more importantly accept that. I had one, more will come, and more are in the future. Sometimes, though this may sound simplistic and silly to say...is difficult to accept when you don't want to even start the day, have a day, or get through the day.

But not today.

Some small joys in my life at the moment:

a handful of Nacho Cheese Doritos from my roommate, Mandi
a good girl talk and smoke session with a two lovely ladies
an orange Odwalla C Monster fruit smoothie
a couple red wheels of Babybel cheese
an interesting productive-get-out-of-campus field trip with my Graphic Forms and Senior Seminar class to two Syracuse galleries [ The Red House and The Everson Museum]
a very comfy black hoodie

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A photograph of a piece of the installation one of my professors, Jen Pepper created

....and not having any prior responsibility to attend to at all early!

oh, and it'll be Friday!

How was your day in the neighborhood?

a small peace of mind

daily melody: Queen "Bohemian Rhapsody"
[song hold A LOT OF memories]

The postcards for my exhibition are ordered!
[thus the need for the title of this post]

I'm sure out of the group of Studio Art children that I'm the last to order my cards. I thought this would be a much larger burden, but in the end when I confirmed my order and selected the shipping method...I saw priority and 7-day delivery. The anxiety lifted a bit.

collaged with love and hand-done
the way I roll.

The background consists of gold spray paint [love, love, love spray painting ANYTHING!], then found images of analog televisions [alluding to ones I will be using in my show], text, and a little old school magic I cannot give up.

I have exactly 29 days until the opening of my exhibition, which I named Theatrical Electric.

And I suppose since I've officially ordered my cards with money I don't have, nor will not be receiving due to loan mis-communication/graduation fees [bullshit] I guess I'm staying til the end if I can make it to graduation.

I know the term and feeling of a starving artist, and those feelings are seeming to rear their heads up again. And uncannily, as they did this time last year....I'm pretty broke and the weather is nice. I should be blesses that at least during the poorest of my poor-20-something-artist times I experience, it is during the spring/summer time when at least it is warm and pleasant. Maybe someone is keeping an eye out for me.

So I'll be rampaging through the entirety of my belongings to sell and auction off on eBay and craigslist.

bye-bye manga, anime, and whatever else I can part with.
becoming too materialistic is over-rated anyways.

that bitch will poison

daily melody: Lady Gaga and Beyonce "Telephone"

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I finally watched Lady Gaga's and Beyonce's music video to Telephone. Both Gaga and Beyonce have seem to be diggin' the retro groove of the talented vibes of the fabulous Quentin Tarantino. I can certinaly live with this new merger.


Dear Gaga and Beyonce,

I loved your new video and very pleased that through the anticipated arrival, like a horomone raging adolescent waiting for TRL to come on so she can crank it all the way on her parents television in the livingroom, it was worth the wait.

The direction, reference, and avant-garde outfits were fabulous! I loved the raw, high-energy feeling you gave it with the misconception and forgotten life of those femmes in prison.

I love the Kill Bill Pussy Wagon reference straight out of the Quentin Tarantino film, all the very raw high-feminine energy through the entirity of the video. And I love, love, love, all the girl power this music video has in despite that fact they kill everyone in the diner. The cigarette glasses, soda can curls [with reference to a photo shoot that the Olsen twins did], the ensembles, the hair,and all the bad bitches in this video.

I would be honored to illustrate potential ensembles for your wardrobe, and I would love ever inspirational, perspective-pushing moment. I want to be a part of this life you lead and help coordinate your fashions and set accessories. You are femme-fatale dancing around in your bra and panties in that prison.

You're fierce, avant-garde, and pushing the bar farther than Madonna.

Love, Caroline


[ I never realized how much Lady Gaga resembles Amy Winehouse. Her choice of liquid eyeliner with the cat eyes is a direct refernce. Maybe I did not pay attention to her nose.... ]

I also really want to dance to very loud music in my bra and panties on.

epiphany of a starving artist

daily melody: Blitzen Trapper "Furr"

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I'm home. In my home town. In the house I grew up with. The structure that houses my teenage angst, the fights I had with my father about my curfew and my boyfriends. The rooms that I did homework in, played pretend with my sister, snuck downstairs to go on AOL Instant Messenger when I had school early the next morning, and have moved on from.

I don't harbor the same feelings I had when I would home from college and stay for the weekend. Or when I would have sleepovers in the livingroom when I was young. I suppose one reason could be that I usually left to hang out with friends or go get coffee.

I've cried twice today at it's only 2:22pm. One of joy and one of sadness. But the tears of an epiphany are going to open doors for me, because I am ready to begin to explore the new corridors that I will embark on and walk through. I am ready to open new doors for myself because I am ready to be emancipated from the conventions that the world feels I should be placed in.

I had an epiphany today.
I am not meant to go down a conventional path.

I am an artist.
I'm not a state minimum-wage fast food minion.
I'm not a retail tool to get corporate bonuses for my supervisor.
I am not an eager-to-please cutout of a college student.

I have issues with this life and I think these issues are just helping melt away the layers that I have put on myself, that are not cohesive to who I am or who I want to be. Maybe those layers need not serve a purpose for what I will be doing, and how I am living.

I'm not average.
I have talent.
I am going places. [France included...someday]


...and I am going to sell my art.

Having conversations with both my mom and my boyfriend, Nicholas, put things into perspective for me. I want to be successful, comfortable with a home, car, and a life where one can pay the bills and not have to worry about if you've over-drafted on your debit card again. The thought of paying for the entirtity of living by myself [and with the assistance of Nick], health insurance, and life in general is very daunting. I want these things [as well as a small studio, preferably at the Delevan in Syracuse]...but I think the key to how I will get these will be through a more personal, adapting, and unconventional manner than how our conservative and dying country wants.

We no longer live in the iconic American Dream anymore.
The average American can't afford a house let alone one with a spacious backyard, within a reliable and reputable school district, a working automobile for both you and your spouse, affordable healthcare, and still have enough money for you to take an annual vacation from your awesome career you got after getting your bachelor's degree.

I'm not that.
You may not be that.
We don't like in that........and we never have.

I am going to strive for a life that will work for me and the joys I have in life.
And art is going to be the method for me.

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lawbreakin'

daily melody: Yelle "A Cause Des Garcons"

[insert rant]

Today housed the infamous "Caroline-is-running-late-like-the-white-rabbit-on-her-way-home-and-must-break-the-law" trick that I find myself doing more often than I prepare myself to. Subconsciously I'm prepared for it because I consistently run late when I drive back to my home town for some priority [usually an appointment of some sort...] and end up speeding east on the New York State Thruway. I will say this, there is a slight enjoyment when my car is on the off-ramp of my exit and I know I've made it successfully. I did not get caught.

I do realize that laws are placed for a reason and the safety of other motorists will be in jeopardy, but I was running late at 85mph and needed to get back into Fulton County. Even if I am a citizen of this massive country so divided and governmentally controlled, I can promise you I will be a law breaking citizen to at least some particular laws, without harming others, and will be proud of it. And its retaliation for military convoys going down the Thruway, potentially hiding hazardous materials on public roadways.

My trip from Syracuse to Gloversville, NY

I'll be within the 518 area code for a bit and enjoy some very somber quiet time in my familys' home and hopefully pump out some illstrations.

As I was drawing yesterday, I felt artistically compelled to compose a fashion illustration, which I have not done since I last attempted to take a class on it. It got me thinking...would people have any interest or be drawn to stylized fashion paper dolls...? Or are they a past interest and just kinda old news...?

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album appreciation: new young pony club

daily melody: New Young Pony Club "The Optimist"

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New Young Pony Club
Fantastic Playroom 2007

New Young Pony Club is a five member band from London, England under the influences from post-punk and new wave music.

The band, recently formed in 2005, is still pretty young but exudes much promise of more albums to come! Vocalist Tahita Bulmer and producer Andy Spence, who share a love of punk rock and dance music, founded the beginnings of the band when they began writing together, originally only for Bulmer to perform. Once a decision was made to form a proper band, the duo recruited the Lou (keyboards), Igor Volk (bass), and Sarah Jones (drums).

New Young Pony Club released two limited edition 7" singles ("The Get Go" and "Ice Cream") on indie label, Tirk Recordings before being discovered by Australian label, Modular Recordings for a worldwide deal.

The band's name came from lead singer Bulmer's desire to be part of a club or team at school. Her original idea for the band name was the more concise "pony club" which she describes as "quirky and kinky and fun". A pre-existing Irish band had already claimed the name, and the prefix "New Young" was added to reflect that the band are "a newer, younger and kinkier pony club.

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These guys are one of my favorite bands [though I have acquired quite a list of them!] When I first discovered New Young Pony Club I became addicted to the poppy beat of their music that was different, not cookie-cutter, and very singable. Bulmer's voice is fantastic, in my opinion, and very distinct which is one of the reasons why I love it so!

I would often drive around with my partner in crime, Mandi, to their songs and sing out loud to their sassy, often femme fetale feeling lyrics. They are worthy of great and peppy driving music and for entertaining. I feel sexy singing to New Young Pony Club.source

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Strangely enough, the two images I found most aesthetically and visually appealing to me were both very red. Powerfully red.

.....New Young Pony Club also just recently [...of March 1st] released a new album, The Optimist as well!

movie: fantastic mr. fox

daily melody: New Young Pony Club "Before The Light"

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I almost completely forgot that Wes Anderson came out with a new film! Shame on me and my falling out on this handsome delight's films. As you can gather, I am a Wes Anderson fan and adore all his movies, even if some people find them repetitive and predictable.

I find your films quite charming, Mr. Anderson, and I love the uniqueness found in the peculiar or average lives some people live.

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Though this image is kind of awkward, I think the jacket is very suiting in numerous ways.
I think Wes is a fox anyways...

I enjoyed the synapses left on the Internet Movie Database, so I thought I would share:

Fantastic Mr. Fox
2009

[ It is the story of one Mr. Fox and his wild-ways of hen heckling, turkey taking and cider sipping, nocturnal, instinctive adventures. He has to put his wild days behind him and do what fathers do best: be responsible. He is too rebellious. He is too wild. He is going to try "just one more raid" on the three nastiest, meanest farmers that are Boggis, Bunce and Bean. It is a tale of crossing the line of family responsibilities and midnight adventure and the friendships and awakenings of this country life that is inhabited by Fantastic Mr. Fox and his friends. ]
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This movie was a very cute and visually appealing [if you enjoy stop-motion animation, claymation, or more crude less computer animation]. It was a good eat-dinner-and-cuddle-on-the-couch-with-coffee kind of movie and was spent exactly in that way with my Nicholas. The voice actors are to be expected in a Wes Anderson film, and serve as a delightful familiarity [at least for me...] in this film about the creatures of the woods.

I've heard there's been some mixed reviews on the film, the choice of animation and execution, and the choice of director and direction....but it is not among the films I have sat through, watched, and regretted watching after.

...oh! and I just happen to have a crush on Jason Schwartzman

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Worth a see with your lovely!

televisions in trees

daily melody: Sufjan Stevens "Chicago"

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Through a rough week i managed to finish my 20 page senior capstone paper and sent it electronically with hopes and prayers that I will make it through until graduation, and optimistically....graduate. It's been a very hard journey.

As I was research artists who worked with our iconic and very Americana friend the television in their works, primarily through installations. Of course my favorite, Nam June Paik, came up and also this very interesting Swiss artist, Pauline Julier, as seen above in Geneva, Switzerland. I could not locate any amount of substantial information on her, but my love for her piece still remains. I absolutely ADORE it!

I did find this nifty flickr 'er with some knowledge on it:

[ Julier's piece, "Arbre à Palabres" [above] is the baobab tree, or more metaphorically "the talking tree". Traditionally, in western African culture it is the tree beneath which the elders meet to talk, and has over time become a symbol for open and unrestricted communication and the exchange of beautiful ideas.

Pauline Julier's work takes this idea and adapts it to the urban environment. Here is an extract from the description that appeared beneath the work :

"En s'approchant de l'arbre on voit sur les écrans des personnes du quartier, des espaces de l'environnement urbain alentour. On entend une voix, elle raconte une anecdote. Le spectateur cherche quel portrait parle. L'espace privé se mélange alors à l'espace public. L'arbre devient un arbre à palabres, centre des paroles du quartier, nébuleuse virtuelle de paroles et d'images." ]

thanks!

It makes me want to compose lots of my Surrealist-like poems.

Televisions in trees.
Is quite an inspiration to me.

note: I always return to Little Miss Sunshine. It is one of my all-time favorite movies and the soundtrack was lovely. You will understand when you listen to the daily melody.

fruit smoooothie!

daily melody: N.E.R.D., Santogold, and Julian Casablancas "My Drive-Thru"

I would like to start today's blurb about this tasty, yet rather peculiar smoothie-concoction:

The one I'm currently slurping down is C Monster Citrus C with such a tangy good taste.
It's nice having a perk like after having some pancakes.

I have a paper to write and possibly some drawings to do!

I also have to get my final image complete in a couple of days! I'm freaking on the inside, that I'm not going to hide, so I'm going to be thinking about some designs, pronto!

I'm thinking collage.

Televisions and text.
Poetry and imagery.